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Anfield from an Armchair (well settee actually, but alliteration is good)
Posted by
kperdnusse
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Match Review
01 January 2012
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I don't know why writing up the televised games never occurred to me before, but there you go.
Match started and we proceeded to be rubbish, although it was nice to hear the 'Speedo' chants on eleven minutes are continuing. We were outplayed for another ten minutes, then Cabaye scored off Ba's head and a scouse shoulder, but I can't remember which one because I don't care. First goal there since 2004 apparently, so that's nice. Then that odious little twerp scored and spoilt it. At least Carroll only hit the bar. Maybe subconsciously he missed on purpose, definitely not just because he can't score there. It's a bit annoying that half (or three, w/e) of their team used to play for us, but one is just a shit Ryan Taylor and another is shit-scared of Shearer. Our fans in attendance said so, so it must be true.
We did okay at the start of the second half. The possession stat in the corner of the screen said so. Then the ref, whom I shall complain about in detail later, awarded the most ridiculous free kick ever and the odious little twerp scored again, this time off Simpson's head. If he hadn't got in the way of it, Krul would probably have saved it. Why was he there, anyway? Daft place to stand. Like Silly Point in cricket.
At some point Steve the Scouser came on and the commentators had orgasms due to his 'amazingness'. Personally, I just wonder how the creases in his forehead got so deep. He could keep stuff in there. Then the tosser went and scored. (Post match interview was as articulate as ever, with plenty of high-pitched erm-ing).
Anyway, the promised ref-complaining. They're obviously biased sometimes, but this one actually played the ball to a scouser and would've been shot (originally typed shit, Freudian slip?) had the scouse not blazed his effort over the bar. He did more getting in the way of the lads later on and booked a couple of our players when they were blatantly nowhere near him. Never touched him ref, are you blind? Well, yeah, he was rubbish anyway.
So, Redknapp (the nicer looking if slightly vacant one) and Cole (the one who must be biased because he plays for the scousers or something apparently) are both as in love with Liverpool as the commentators and therefore wankers, so I went home.
This blog was brought to you by my grandparents' $ky Sports subscription and Kopparberg cider.
KP
Match started and we proceeded to be rubbish, although it was nice to hear the 'Speedo' chants on eleven minutes are continuing. We were outplayed for another ten minutes, then Cabaye scored off Ba's head and a scouse shoulder, but I can't remember which one because I don't care. First goal there since 2004 apparently, so that's nice. Then that odious little twerp scored and spoilt it. At least Carroll only hit the bar. Maybe subconsciously he missed on purpose, definitely not just because he can't score there. It's a bit annoying that half (or three, w/e) of their team used to play for us, but one is just a shit Ryan Taylor and another is shit-scared of Shearer. Our fans in attendance said so, so it must be true.
We did okay at the start of the second half. The possession stat in the corner of the screen said so. Then the ref, whom I shall complain about in detail later, awarded the most ridiculous free kick ever and the odious little twerp scored again, this time off Simpson's head. If he hadn't got in the way of it, Krul would probably have saved it. Why was he there, anyway? Daft place to stand. Like Silly Point in cricket.
At some point Steve the Scouser came on and the commentators had orgasms due to his 'amazingness'. Personally, I just wonder how the creases in his forehead got so deep. He could keep stuff in there. Then the tosser went and scored. (Post match interview was as articulate as ever, with plenty of high-pitched erm-ing).
Anyway, the promised ref-complaining. They're obviously biased sometimes, but this one actually played the ball to a scouser and would've been shot (originally typed shit, Freudian slip?) had the scouse not blazed his effort over the bar. He did more getting in the way of the lads later on and booked a couple of our players when they were blatantly nowhere near him. Never touched him ref, are you blind? Well, yeah, he was rubbish anyway.
So, Redknapp (the nicer looking if slightly vacant one) and Cole (the one who must be biased because he plays for the scousers or something apparently) are both as in love with Liverpool as the commentators and therefore wankers, so I went home.
This blog was brought to you by my grandparents' $ky Sports subscription and Kopparberg cider.
KP
Things like that seem to happen at Anfield and refs like that seem to dwell there. I was lucky, I don't have anyone close by with $ky so I didn't need to get agitated by watching it. I lurked around the internet for a while and half listened to the radio but that became too much - it was too cold and wet to drag the dog out so we sat together on the sofa and watched telly.
I did once watch a Toon game from Anfield on $ky - I can't remember when and I was in deepest Hexham at the time - we lost that one too 4-3. So, LFC are not a nice bunch and they're even less nice with King Kong in charge.
And, when Gerrard came on, I could visualise him smirking away, waiting for the ref to look his way so he could fall over, pretend to be fouled and get a free kick or penalty or even have the ref pop it into the goal for him. I can't remember who they were playing when that happened (not the ref scoring for him) - it's something I can never forget.
I must be older than I thought, there's a lot I can't remember